1) boy:hapi birthday dia
girl:tx!wea z ma gift
boy:do u c dat BMW outside there?
girl:yes!yes!yes! thx u so much!
boy:i bought 4 u a toothbrush of de same COLOUR!
2) Asif saw the question zodiac sign. He didnt know what it meant. So he turned back and saw that Ali had written Cancer. So he wrote AIDS.
3) Mom- My dear son, why is your wife so silent.. Son- Nothing mom, she asked for lipstick, but I gave her a glue stick instead. That is why...!!
4) Rahim And His Wife Went For a walk. Wife- Oh! Look at the dead bird! Rohim looked at the sky and said- where, where....
5) Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.
6) Girl: Xcuse me,brother. This is my seat. Boy: That's ok.But i'm not ur brother bcoz My father never touch ur mother. Girl:Sorry Darling!
7) Teacher: u know the importance ofperiod? Kid: Ya, once my sister said she hasmissed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away.
8) Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps in the U.S? Bcoz people started licking the wrong side.
9) Wats the height of innocense? A 12year old girl applies pimples cream on her breast!
10) Women asked man who is travelling with six children, all these kids are urs?? No, i work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.
11) Bride's dad hands a note the groom: "GOODS DELIVERED ARE NOT RETURNABLE". Groom gave another note back to him "CONTRACT VOID IF SEAL IS BROKEN".
12) Teacher: Why cows look depressedwhen they are milked? Student: Madam, if some1 press ur boobs for 2hrs & doesnt f**k u, then how do u feel??
13) Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives. 1st: How urs look like? 2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. Wat abt urs? 1st: Forget mine. Lets find urs!!
14) 1st sardar: Mumbai is the best city, ALL Free, Pickup, Drop, Food, Drink, Hotel even Sex. 2nd sardar:When did u go? 1st sardar:Not me, my wife went, she told me.
15) Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this right time we shud talk abt sex. Daughter: Sure mom, tell me wat u want to know. Mom:##??!!
16) Difference between Good & Bad Girls. Good Girls open a few button in hot atmosphere. But the Bad Girls open all buttons to make the atmosphere hot
17) In a physics class, the teacherboiled some water. When the water startee boiling & making a noise, he asked: Why is the water making this noise Johnny? JOHNNY:That's the germs screaming beforethey are boiled!
18) A mother waiting anxiously for her son on the last day of the term. MOM: At lgst you are home! Where is your report? SON: I haven't got it. MOM: How come? SON: I lent it to my friend. MOM: And why does need it? SON: He wants to scare his parents with it!
19) REPORTER: To what do you attribute your success? BUSINESSMAN: I decided to make a honest living and there isn´t much competition!
20) When I was interviewed for ajob, they asked how I´d feel about having a woman as my boss. I replied: Well,I´d feel right at home!